The Cause of My Long Distance Marriage

We could classify many things in life as a thief; time, money, work. But sometimes, the thief is so microscopic you can't even identify it as the culprit. 

For Bryce and me, our thief has been mold. For many, that doesn't seem like quite the threat I'm making it out to be. When you hear mold, you might think of past-due strawberries that start sporing white fuzz. Or your damp shower that collects mold in the grout. You're saying, "It's not pretty, but it's common… so what?"

Well, that common pest can wreak havoc on your life. 

It's been seven months (and counting) for me. But I've met people, and it's been 20 years of them being sick and not knowing why. 

For anyone who's felt like they've spent half their life at a doctor's office with no viable solution to their problems- you understand the toll it takes having undiagnosed health issues. 

Yet, all I have to say is God is good. I very well could have gone 20 years without knowing why I was so terribly sick. Some people's stories look like them being on indefinite disability, going on psychotropic drugs because of a misdiagnosis, and resolving to a life that leaves them as observers and not partakers. 

For me, I felt my body rapidly changing in late July, and it was not a good change. I felt like my body was out of control. Every time I tried to reel my health back in, it just kept unraveling. 

It started with cognitive challenges that I'd never experienced before. My body was in a perpetual fight, flight, or freeze. It felt like overnight; my mind was reprogrammed to doubt everything. At this point, I realized it wasn't just a physical, but also a spiritual issue. Spiritual adversaries were taking advantage of my weakness. The amount of lies, fears, and guilt I battled daily for months was nothing that I had faced before. Every time I tried to cling to God and his promises, the stronger the lies and fears overcame me. 

My main focus from the end of summer to mid-fall was strengthening my spiritual life. Through church family, Bible studies, and wise counsel, my mental state took priority. I said I was going through my "spiritual boot camp." I assumed that the trial I was facing was Satan attacking my faith. And how he was doing it came out in the way of physical ailment. 

However, it was mid-October when I realized there was still more to uncover. Yes, the spiritual side is very real, and I believe God allowed me to go through that to take my faith deeper. And I absolutely believe in the power of prayer. My God is the great physician, the healer of all things. And by prayer alone, God could and can heal me without medical intervention. But He's also provided us with knowledge of our bodies and intuition when something is wrong. 

I remember praying on my bathroom floor, and faith and confidence overcame me. I asked God to lead me to the next step. I praised Him for the work He had started in me, but I requested He direct my steps to my complete healing. And at the end of my prayer, I remember confidently believing that He would answer my prayer. And I just left it at that. 

That very day, I was researching doctors who might be able to specialize in an integrative approach to medicine. A place I had never heard of or seen kept popping up. I read through their material and what they offered. I literally felt hope radiating off of me. I felt like maybe this practitioner could help heal my body. However, I had no clue where they were located. 

They were five minutes from my house! I was literally walking distance from this clinic. This was God's hand was all over this. He was leading and directing my every step. I had just witnessed an everyday miracle.  

That bold prayer on my bathroom floor was the launching pad for many more open doors. 

I decided to take an integrative approach to heal my body. I did "unconventional methods" of detoxification, brain alignment, and holistic therapies. 

Naïve me thought that since I seemingly got sick overnight, I really wasn't that sick and wouldn't need many treatments. However, after a month of these preliminary procedures, I felt like I hadn't gotten to the root of my issues. 

At this point, I decided had a hefty amount of blood taken that tested 45 different markers plus a mycotoxins test (a toxic mold test). 

My mold results came back two weeks before Christmas, and my blood work came back a week before Christmas. 

The relief of seeing my results calmed me for the fact that my sickness wasn't just in my head. But it also instilled a different kind of fear. Fear for the fact that my body had literally been falling apart. By God's grace, He did not let me fall, nor did my foot stumble. But it most certainly felt like I was about to.

My mold test came back positive on 3 out of 5 accounts. My blood work showed because of the mold attacking my body, my kidneys, liver, and thyroid had been impaired in addition to serval vitamin deficiencies. Overall, the cells in my body were fatigued and my mitochondria was not preforming well enough to keep me healthy.

The unexplained brain fog, overwhelming anxiety, noise & light sensitivity, general sensory overload, memory impairment, visual impairment, and fatigue finally had an explanation.  

My doctors immediately implemented a mold protocol, which is nearly an eight-step process, daily. And after my own research, I added three to four more steps. This protocol initially lasts three months to however long. The healing process of mold can take months to over a year.

However, a bigger problem was posed after receiving these results. Where was the mold coming from? 

Bryce and I had our apartment swabbed for mold independently and by our leasing office. Neither of those results came back until the first week of January. 

Bryce and I spent Christmas in Virginia, but He needed to return to Charleston for work after Christmas vacation; despite not knowing if our apartment had mold. At this point, we had to decide for me to stay in Virginia with my family. 

On January 1st, we unknowingly started our over month long journey of long distance.

When our apartment results finally came back, what was found was no surprise. Our independent test returned positive, while the apartments' returned negative. 

At this point, we most certainly felt stuck (and spoiler alert, a month later, we feel mostly the same). I still hadn't turned a significant corner, and returning to Charleston in our moldy apartment wasn't an option. On top of this, in mid-January, I realized I had contracted a parasite, which also contributed to my malnutrition and physical weakness. Because of that, I had to have two separate procedures done to extract the parasite.

Now, it's mid-February. Within the past two weeks, I've seen positive health improvements, Bryce and I see each other every other weekend, and we are still in the throes of finding a new place to live. Finding a mold-free apartment is arduous anywhere- but particularly in the low country (AKA, the swamp lands). 

When Bryce and I took our vows 2 years ago, mold toxicity and long distance weren't what we expected when we said: "through sickness and through health." 

Mold has robbed us of over half a year (and counting) of my health, trips, events, dinners, dates, outings, our home, certainty of the future, my ability to work and function independently, and confidence in my body. 

It's a journey I wouldn't wish on anyone. When something violently robs you of your health, everything else seems insignificant. 

Yet, the support of people I trust, the prayers of sound Christians, and the everlasting hope that my savior is not done sanctifying me is what gives me strength. 

This Valentine's Day looks different. A little more tired, a little more stressed, a bit further apart than I'd like; but still in love. 

I know this post is long, so kudos to those who made it to the end. I want to write in more detail about the holistic, spiritual, emotional, and mental journey I've been on. But for now, I wanted to share this little part. 

I don't share this for pity or to say woe is me. And I don't share this to breeze over a situation that's been my deepest valley yet. But I share this to say God is good. Especially when I don't feel like it. This is His story, and he's using my life to proclaim it.