Does Your Outward Appearance Match Your Inward Spirit?

Before even speaking, the first thing that's recognized about a person is their looks.

Whether we like it or not, we have biases for nearly everything. We make hasty judgments based on their face value, from products to people. I'm not praising this trait in humanity, but merely stating a fact.

Modesty, dressing well, and the art of femininity are future posts that deserve their own article. However, today I am focusing on the immediate impression left on someone based on your appearance.

The goal for the biblical woman is for her outward appearance to match her inward heart. So often, a beautiful woman can be tainted by her ugly spirit. But also, a kind and godly woman can look standoffish when she neglects her outward appearance.

Once again, we can use the Proverbs 31 woman as our guide to biblical womanhood.

"She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple." -- Proverbs 31:21-22

The Proverbs 31 woman takes pride in her home, family, children, and physical appearance. The first reflection of this pride is seen through her appearance.

The pride in this context is not to be mistaken with sinful pride. Instead, it shows respect and decorum for herself and her household. A woman should view her role and position as a gift. If you've been given a gift, you want to honor it.

The types of material mentioned in the Proverbs passage signified wealth and good standing within society. She wasn't concerned that her high-quality clothing and rich material would appear pretentious. It was a part of her role as a wife and mother to honor her family with fine adornments and clothing.

She knew her husband would be more highly respected at work based on his and his family's appearance. Their looks directly reflected how they would be perceived in society.

This is still true in today's culture. We might want to believe that our credibility and character aren't based on our appearance -- but it is.

Below I've outlined three ways to honor our physical appearance and three pitfalls to avoid.

***Pros***

Good Grooming is a Given

Honor your household by caring about how they look. Hygiene is the bare minimum of taking care of one's appearance. You, your husband, and your children's personal grooming directly reflect how you care for the family. As women, we're managers of the home. Help your family make good impressions by instilling good grooming habits.

A Beautiful Heart Should Match an Attractive Appearance

Nothing makes someone more attractive than having a beautiful spirit. However, the first potential red flag you pick up on is how someone presents themselves. There is nothing wrong with caring about your appearance. A healthy amount of concern pushes you to look put-together and presentable. You realize that your body is a gift from God, and you should want to honor that gift. When we plan a party, we want it to be beautiful. We all have Pinterest boards with aesthetics we wish to match. So why should our own bodies and appearance be any different?

I'm not saying to ditch the yoga pants and hoodies. Nothing beats a rainy afternoon in your comfy clothes. But, what I am saying is to put effort into your looks. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look nice and putting time into our appearance. A beautiful heart matched with an attractive appearance makes you an overall, well-pleasing woman.

An Appealing Look Draws People Towards You.

Dressing for the "male gaze" could be covered extensively on this blog, and dressing so someone will like you is not the message I'm promoting. But good grooming and an effort in your appearance are noticed. You can call it bias or comfortability, but seeing someone that makes an effort to look presentable is someone you would want to be seen with. Style is personal, but a pleasant appearance is universal.

***Pitfalls***

Our Looks Should Not be a Source of Competition

When you get ready and think of a person you want to "out-dress," your priorities are off. Dressing well shouldn't be a "not-so-silent" way of showing off your wealth to make someone feel inferior. Suppose you're dressing yourself or your family to gain the world's praise, make yourself feel better, and make someone else feel smaller. In that case, your outward appearance does not match your heart posture. Your good looks might win someone over. Still, your attractiveness will be forgotten when your character is relieved.

Our Looks Should Not Become an Idol

Hours spent obsessing over outfits and makeup could be better spent. There is a fine line between taking the time to curate a sustainable wardrobe and putting together a lovely outfit versus overindulging and wasting time/money. Dressing well does not equal overspending. Furthermore, suppose your time spent on your appearance is taking away your time fulfilling other roles that need to be fulfilled in your home, marriage, and spiritual life. In that case, you might have a problem idolizing your looks.

We Should Not Negatively Judge Others Based on Their Looks

I understand that because of human nature, we tend to make unconscious or *conscious* judgments based on people's appearance. But I do not believe we should let that put a wedge in our relationship with others. We can understand how we present our physical selves to the world can impact our relationships with others. However, just because we hold ourselves to a certain standard doesn't mean the rest of the world does. You might think someone is dressed inappropriately for a specific occasion, or you can tell they don't try to look presentable. But based on these factors, your attitude to love and show kindness to others shouldn't change.

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How you look, your appearance, and how you dress indicate who you are and what you value. Biblical women should take pride in their appearance because it shows honor for the gifts God has given them. A godly woman is a beautiful woman. The Lord makes lovely things and finds beauty in them. As women, we are no exception. Let your physical beauty match your spirit of beauty. It's a silent testimony showing you care for everything you've been given.